He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
