Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
