Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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