If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
