This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
that may or may not have been my penis.
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