So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
