I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
