I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize