Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
