my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
