Where is the hickey?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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