Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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