do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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