fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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