your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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