At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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