An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
