Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
