areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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