why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
