bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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