i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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