No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
