bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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