So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
