It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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