I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
