I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
