And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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