Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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