Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
