I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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