How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
