I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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