At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
