Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
