So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You were trust falling into bushes
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
