yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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