the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
