Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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