...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize