Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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