The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sext me about skeletons
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
