Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
