Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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