Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
