And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize