there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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