Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
