So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think I am morally bankrupt
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
