I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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