I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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