There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
