it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize