either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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