So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
