I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
