By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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