She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
