Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
