Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize