thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
