the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
