How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
