It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
