Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
