you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
